A Note on Mental Health and Finding Community as an Entrepreneur.

I am a woman. 

I am a single mother, sister, and friend.

And to all of you, I am an Entrepreneur. Some days are great days, but some days are hard. Really hard. It’s difficult to find the energy, get out of bed, make breakfast and lunch for my son, make the calls, and do all the things. Heal a broken limb or even a broken heart. 

I have to press on when building a company. Yet, life is still happening all around me. I love my life and my choices that have brought me here. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I also feel compelled to share that - some days - my heart is heavy and I want to cry. I do cry. 

As a Technical Recruiter and Business Owner, I find myself constantly comparing the posts I read on Linkedin and Facebook to my own progress and accomplishments. I compare myself to the amazing women and men I admire in the industry and community. 

Am I enough?

What if I can’t do this?

What if I let everyone down?

Well, those thoughts trickle in as I’m sure they do for you all… and I want everyone reading this to know, YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

You are not alone in this wild and wonderful journey.

Depression and stress are dangerous things. We don’t read about the nights spent worrying about our companies, our teams and clients, and our futures as much as we read about the accolades and progress. We come to work exhausted, depleted, and drained, pushing down the things that need attention to focus on building the company. For every good day and win, there were many losses, rejections, and failures, both inside work and out. These things weigh on the psyche. They weigh on your soul. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association and BDC’s study “Going it Alone: the mental health and well-being of entrepreneurs in Canada,” found that 62% of entrepreneurs feel depressed at least once a week.

Damn. 

Wherever you are in your entrepreneurial journey, know you are kicking ass. Well done. On behalf of all entrepreneurs, we’re proud of you, you got this!

Take time to heal and give attention to the parts of life that also require your time and energy. A successful company stands tall on a leader that can be vulnerable in their weakest moments, ask for support and guidance, and take a break from work to return replenished and refocused. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or alone in your venture, here are a four tips I’ve used to help build community around me and work through depressed and stressful times: 

Join an Online Community

Slack and Facebook have great channels and groups for entrepreneurs and industry-specific leaders. Here is a resource that can help you join a few. 

Small Steps in Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. Let me repeat this. Being vulnerable is NOT a sign of weakness. We can weather any storm when we show up with all that we are, all that we have or do not have, and show our true self to our team, family, or friends. 

Ask a colleague or someone in your network for coffee. Share a story, ask for help. 

Take Small Breaks to Replenish your Soul

Building companies is like giving birth. Many things will need to happen, some in your control, some not - to hit each growth milestone. This is an arduous and exhaustive journey. Take moments to go for a walk, take a weekend in the woods with your favorite books, or take a break from screens for 24 hours. Return to the things that bring you joy. 

Delete What is NOT Serving You

I have a terrible habit of trying to do too much. ‘Yes, I can help you rewrite your CV, of course I can help you move next Saturday and I can make it to dinner on Tuesday night!’ 

Wait, no I can’t… I’m exhausted. 

Cut out ‘obligations’ in your life. Not including your family and friends, food, shelter, and of course - your business; nothing is an obligation. 

Fuck the FOMO (Fear of missing out) and embrace the JOMO (joy of missing out). 

Above all, get help. Our conscious and ever-evolving mind can be a double-edged sword. 2019 was one of the most stressful years of my life. I had hives due to stress from May to August (I’m serious) and couldn’t get my stress under control. I was spiraling trying to manage it all. In November, I embarked on a healing journey that would forever change my life. I reconnected with my inner strength, my calm, and my belief in the power of energy working for me, not against me. 

I exist to help my team build great companies. 

I exist to help my clients evolve to meet new challenges. 

I exist to build an emotionally intelligent and strong human in my son. 

I exist to be a woman and mother that will forever fight to tear down social taboos so we all can thrive together. 

As Dr. Brene Brown said in Daring Greatly, “I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits.”

We are Enough.