I know. I know what you are thinking. “Rude”. But sometimes, it’s simply a different mindset.

Being in a team can often be a challenge for many people. Let’s face it. There is no way that everyone can be on the same page, with the same values, needs, approaches, name it! We are all very different individuals that are trying their best to coexist in a work environment.

From experience, Mondays at work often start with the weekend question and end on Friday with the weekend questions again. It might get hard for some people to keep that chit chat coming over and over again, week after week.

Some people are definitely more introverted and might see those questions as pressure. Pressure of performance maybe? Why is everyone else having such a nice weekend? … Oh cool, they all have friends to hang out with … why does everyone have such energy to have so many activities when I don’t? … you get the point.

Mental and emotional health is different for everyone and it shows up in many (many, many, many, …!) different ways for each human.

By now, you might have heard A LOT about the C word (Covid) fatigue. Well, this concept may be applied here as well. People get tired of this culturally expected chit chat we have to go through every week. They might not have the energy and/or the willpower to interact at this level. There are various concepts of “fatigue”. Look it up; it is a very interesting subject and it brings you a new perspective.

Side note : if you are collaborating with teammates that speak another language, chitchat can be very difficult for them as they are using a lot of their energy to discuss in a foreign language that they may not master.

As an introvert, but mostly as a know-it-all diva, here are my unsolicited tips :

Dosing is the key (like with everything, I believe). Of course, it’s easy to get into the ancient weekend question. But let’s be creative, shall we? Try an open ended question : what’s one thing that made you feel happy this weekend? - tell me one thing you did for yourself the last few days. - how did you connect with people you care for during those days off? And mostly, try to feel the vibe, ya know. If you see that a colleague of yours isn’t really into chitchatting, make an effort to connect in a different and meaningful way. Dig deeper. Find common interests. Tap into a special talent. I swear, that person will be way more engaged and interested in chatting with you.

Let’s also remember that sometimes, silence is golden. You might want to ask yourself if you are asking out of fear and uncomfortableness with silence or if you are truly interested in knowing about someone’s weekend. Think about it. You might surprise yourself.

And of course, for the managers out there, never force that question into your meetings

Overall, don’t get me wrong; a little chit chat here and there can actually be very helpful in many ways! It’s just a question of balancing it - never forcing it - and trying to be conscious that not everyone has the same ease and interest in it. Get to understand your interlocutor and adapt your communication style and all will be fine.

Now … I know you all want to know about my weekend, right? I was in Mexico on a compound trip with the @rhum team. I got sad when they left, but very happy to continue a week-long vacation along with one colleague. I’m just bragging at this point. My weekend was better than yours

No, I don’t want to talk about my weekend